Barring Love

Listening to a couple argue in a NY City bar is compelling and educating!

I’ll just say that if a woman “needs to talk about sex” it means you’re doing it wrong. Conversely if a man is still mad from 2 days ago, it means you’re doing it wrong.

Here’s how it went down:

He: is hot with a capital H (and so is she).

They: are maybe 24.

He: is jealous.

She: is confused and real mad.

They: are immature; but that hotness keeps ‘em together (God bless 'em)

Here’s what I heard (for the most part).

She: well, are you still mad about something that happened 2 days ago?

He: No

Me: (hell yeah you are)

She: Then why did you just bring that up right out of the blue?

He: Well, I’m concerned.

Me: (who’s the cheater? Someone cheated)

She: Well do we need to talk about that now?

He: No we can talk about it tomorrow.

Me: ( he just wants to do it with her one more time)

They: leave

Me: (bummer)

They: come back!

Me: (GOODIE!)

They: are mad.

She: what do you mean my friends? I mean it’s my friends!! I don’t know why you bring that up all the time. I mean…God! Just friends, it’s no big deal.

They: sit in silence

Me: (noooot listening)

He: mumbles

Me: (uh, what was that?)

She: When? I was fine that night, I wasn’t depressed, I was in a mood. Is that ok? Can’t I just be in a bad mood? A MOOD! God!

Me: (Talk louder please!)

Them: arms crossed.

This is a fight clearly about her depression, his infidelity or hers and their wanting to be together but the language is right out of Jersey Shore and too often inaudible.

She: I might just need to take a step back but I don’t want you to feel bad.

Me: (dude, get out she’s trying to bail)

She: it’s not really fair of you to make me feel bad because I have a bad day, I didn’t want to tell you, I mean, I just had a bad day. I shouldn’t have to feel bad about it.

He: But I wanted you to leave your friends and not deal with all this – I thought you should touch me and be nice to me but that’s not what you did…now you want me to just. whatever.. I mean…

Me: (Oh my God I wish I were a faster typist and that they spoke in complete sentences).

Them: arms crossed…although uncrossing.

He: kisses her.

She: kisses back!

Me: (ewe)

Them: silence for about 5 seconds

She: Recrosses arms…You called me a bitch and a prostitute in the same sentence. I’m just saying.

Him: gathering money and keys would like to bail but can’t.

They: silence with arms crossed again

Me: (really? fight, kiss, silence…this is a marriage in the making)

He: {something I can’t hear}

Me: (damn that mumbler)

Her: OK, get yourself a shot of whiskey, but whiskey makes me vomit. Do they not have Tequila here?

Then there was some talk about they're trip to Wild Turkey someplace or other, on Staten Island when he tried to get her to drink Whiskey. Apparently he was trying to talk her into it so finally she tried it but that made her real mad and she barfed at the bar.

Me: Can no longer take it…and grateful to not be 24...ish.